by Great Education Colorado

Question by Just Me: How long do I wait to see a glimpse of the man I fell in love with? How long do I stay unhappily married?
I don’t know where to begin… I’ve been married for a year now and it’s been the most trying year of my life! Neither one of us are happy, and when presented with the question “why are we together” all I can say is that I’m waiting… hoping… for something, a miracle. I thought once we celebrated our one year anniversary maybe that miracle would come… but no such luck. Our fights have gotten worse and worse and more and more disrespectful. We’ve gone to counseling, saw 2 different therapists for a total of about 6 months and ultimately gave up on it because things weren’t getting any better.

My parents have been married for 40 years and I thought marriage was forever… good, bad, and ugly… I thought the only things that could end my marriage were adultery and physical abuse…. never taking into account that there are many other things that could cause Misery in my union.

I don’t trust my husband because he’s a compulsive liar, we have issues over trust, finances, going out too often (on his part), and explosive arguments. In all of this while I’m not a saint by any means… he is genuinely at fault most of the time. I’ve tried different tactics to deal with our conflicts and the result is always the same; explosive arguments, severe disrespect, and general unhappiness.

The thing is, our relationship started as far as you could get from what it is now. He presented himself as a kind-hearted individual, who would never turn his temper on me. He made me think he adored me, couldn’t live without me, and would never disrespect me. This was the most important thing to me and despite other flaws in him, I genuinely thought he possessed the most important attributes in a man. I thought I could overlook all of the negatives because we loved each other so much and so long as we could find comfort in each other and understanding… we could get through anything. Once we got married… all of the effort he put into making me feel love, respected, and like I had a partner I could turn to went out of the window. Overnight he began to take me for granted, I was transformed in his eyes from the love of his life to a burden. It was a burden to spend time with me, return my phone calls, include me in his life. He shocked the Hell out of me! I did not see this coming at all! I’m not happy playing this roll in anyone’s life… yet I’m still holding on to who he was before we got married. And as unhappy as I am in this marriage, I’m still holding on to the man I fell in love with, the one who has disappeared from my life ever since I vowed to love him for eternity…

To make matters worse… I don’t walk away because I was so set on beginning a family of my own, nothing was more important to me. And the thought that that might not ever happen now, is too much for me to bare. On top of that I question if this is just live and maybe this is how men react after marriage… what if I find someone new, and it’s just as bad if not worse?

Best answer:

Answer by oracleofohio
So…he misrepresented himself. Why put up with it? You’ve tried everything you can. Get out and then you can find the actual love of your life.

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Question by Jeena: Should I move in with my Boyfriend?
Actually….I should rephrase the question, “should my b/f and I get a place together?” I really don’t have any other options. I HATE living alone, I have bills up the a$ $ trying to pay for all expenses on my own, I love my b/f, and I don’t have anyone else to turn to. I would be able to save half of my income each month if we lived together. 2bdrm/2bath apartment is so much cheaper than a 1bdrm and paying for everything by one’s self. I don’t have any friends I can trust, so I can’t look for a roommate elsewhere, and my family and I aren’t close. My b/f has been the only one that has been there for me over the years. Should I just do it? Even if I have doubts? We get along great, and I do trust him, AND he’s definitely not in any hurry to settle down with me or anything since he’s still going to school and works. It would be SOMEWHAT of a roommate situation. What should I do? Go through with it? My finances are out of control, I have to do something fast. HELP. Thanks
*We’re both 22yrsold, by the way.
Aamina- you’re right, I am scared. I am scared because….I feel like I will somehow be locked into the situation. I’m not sure what I would do if he were to lose his job or something. We’re both young and I feel like we don’t have the ability or education to make the big bucks….so I guess I just worry on having to completely rely on someone to foot their half of the rent….I also worry that he might leave me eventually. I’m very insecure obviously.

Best answer:

Answer by chrissyg2006
i’d say if you love each other and will eventually get married then go for it..if not…i’d say find another way

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by Travel Salem

Question by psyence fiction: I got turned back at the UK Airport what does this mean?
Back in January I went to visit my girlfriend in London for a few weeks. I am a Canadian so on there website all it said I needed was my passport. I traveled to South America and USA and really have never been asked more then that other then my reason of travel. I got off the plane in Glasgow Airport, and the women officer proceeded to ask me questions…”why are you here?, “Do you have a return ticket?” ( which I didn’t my girlfriend was buying my ticket back) “Where is your money?” ( as in my wallet, it seemed they wanted to see a large amount of cash on me), “Where is my itinerary?”, “For whom am I visiting?”, etc. I could not give them the things they wanted so they pulled me to the side and made me wait quite a long time. I had my photo taken, finger prints done up, and i was put into a room and made to wait. after 6 hrs someone came to see me. they asked all questions about who I am, what am I doing trying to get into London, who is my girlfriend, questions about my parents. I gave them all the answers they asked they talked to my girlfriend, if they wanted me to have a return ticket I could of bought one there and then…but that all wasn’t enough for this women. after spending a night in this cell I was told that I would be denied coming into the country but that I was not being deported. that I was voluntarily leaving, that technically I could come back the next day, so I am not blacklisted. Well it has been 3 months my girlfriend came over to Canada and made her my wife. She is back in the UK planning to come to Canada under my sponsorship, but for now I just want to go visit her. I have all the information they want I think. financial records, proof of job, reference letters, landlords letter, basically saying that I have to come back to this country in 2 weeks or at least some point soon. I fear the British Boarder Agency Fed me lie after lie, and I cannot get a answer off of there website and they only office that deals with that is in Ontario. So i guess my question is, “am I blacklisted for not having sufficient information and leaving on my own regard? even though they said I wasn’t?” The fact that I have all the information I think they want. Are they going to deny me to visit my now wife for a few weeks?
I did have funds. I had my credit card ( which they don’t recognize apparently), and my debit card. I didn’t really need money I was covered by my Girlfriend really. In any case i told them i had money in my bank account and that my girlfriend was supporting my visit. no go.

Best answer:

Answer by DaiMow
in short.. UK don’t welcome you

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Question by United4Peace2: FL and MI Do You Realize it’s not a Dead Issue?
Seems like people here take a lot of creative liberties with truth… This was an answer on a previous question:

“First FL and MI borke the rules setup by our government. The rules say it don’t count. They had to vote again… they didn’t sooo sad. They’re our rules… we can’t change them without an act of congress and oh yeah… its almost too late.”

This is not a constitutional matter. It was a Democratic party decision, and a dumb one. The elections in FL were moved by a Republican Governor. (Makes you wonder since Rezko Obama’s Friend of 17 years fund raises for Obama and Bush).

Later, to resolve the matter there were a variety of solutions on the table including financing for NEW ELECTIONS — but Obama turned down all those options refering to legal mumbo jumbo which also was not based on any fact accept he did not want new elections.

Now Obama is WAY BEHIND in those states and voters are Mad in FL and MI, and the situations will backfire on Obama and Democrats.
Obama’s letters for Rezko

http://www.suntimes.com/news/politics/425305,CST-NWS-obama13.article

Asked if he ever thought Rezko would expect something from their relationship, Obama was emphatic: ‘No. Precisely because I had known him for [many] years and he hadn’t asked me for something.”

The friendship between the Obamas and Rezkos included occasional dinners and the Obamas once spending a day at the Rezkos’ Lake Geneva retreat. It began in about 1991, when Obama became the first black president of the Harvard Law Review and Rezko offered him a job building affordable homes with his Rezmar Corp. Though Obama declined, a friendship and political alliance began.

His first big contributor

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/politics/chi-obama-rezkomar15,0,2968927.story

Best answer:

Answer by HILLARY 2008!!!
Yes, they are p!ssed off, and I hope that Hillary will help find a way to get those voters justice, give them their votes back, and seat their delegates at the convention.

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by avaiki nius

Question by matt W: How can I change?
I split up with my girlfriend and I don’t ever see us getting back together. Her formal turned into a disaster last night, and I felt so bad that it had to happen on “her night”. I felt so worthless when I was walking away. We’ve split up and got back together twice, but this time I realised that we haven’t changed and things could never work between us. So I feel worthless and I want to change. I’m sorry if this is depressing, but I really need help in this. Last night I was thinking of asking the question, “What is the best way to commit suicide?” But today my question is how can I change?

I want to change for the better. I take myself way too seriously + I’m very self-conscious, I worry about things all the time and I have no confidence at all. I’m a university student but I don’t take my studies seriously. I don’t consider finances at all + I’m socially anxious. How do you think I should change? Is there something that you admire about yourself that I could strive to be? Matthew

Best answer:

Answer by KRISTY
Well first you should forget about your ex- girlfriend shes the past you have to take the bad vibe away from yourself and focus on the good in your life. You should focus on your studies so you can sucide in life at some point. Dont be scared of what the world is and what its becoming. I never had much confidence but one day i woke up and realised who cares what others think of me . And now im a much happier person!

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Question by : Please paraphrase this article?
The Aerospace Industry Association (AIA)’s newest report finds a defense budget squeeze coming that will affect the next administration and wants presidential candidates to address the specifics of how they’ll manage budget pressures and make future defense investments to keep the U.S. military on the cutting edge.

“It is an absolutely critical debate to have among those who do aspire to become commander in chief because there are some very hard questions,” Marion Blakey, AIA president and CEO, said April 15. AIA does not endorse candidates and does not have a Political Action Committee.

“All of the candidates have spoken to parts of these issues,” Jeremiah Gertler, AIA assistant vice president, defense policy, said.”What we’re saying with this report is that the next administration is going to have to figure a way out of that, no matter who it is, no matter how strong the defense top line happens to be. It’s going to be a problem for the next president.”

On tax day–the day the government officially collects the funds for defense and other government spending–AIA issued a report and recommendations, “U.S. Defense Modernization, Readiness Now and for the Future.”

AIA offers five recommendations to modernize so the U.S. military stays on the technological cutting edge: to sustain a national consensus to adequately fund a full spectrum defense capability and readiness; to acknowledge that defense modernization is overdue and increase annual procurement funding to a steady state range of $ 120 billion to $ 150 billion in constant dollars; establish a defense spending floor at 4 percent of GDP; address the bow wave of modernization requirements by providing growth and stability in aerospace procurement and research accounts; and to foster innovation and stability in defense budget planning by establishing a Stable Program Funding Account–similar to that proposed by the Defense Acquisition Performance Assessment panel.

The report finds three trends will drain flexibility and squeeze decision makers as they respond to deferred modernization and recapitalization needs: the growth in operations and maintenance costs; rising personnel expenditures exacerbated by future costs of recent increases in active duty end-strength; and the simultaneous need for reset and recapitalization.

“These three developments, working in combination are going to require that the next U.S. administration carefully consider how it’s going to balance the financial resources that we have across all national defense capabilities,” Blakey said.

Over the past 45 years investment spending has shown a cyclical pattern, she said.

Twice during that period, investment in new platforms has dipped significantly: after Vietnam and at the end of the Cold War. “Despite these recent increases, based budget procurement is still running well below historic averages,” she said.

Gertler said, “Modernization accounts have been increasing and we’ve seen that in recent years, but procurement is still only about 20 percent of the budget and it’s below the level that authoritative sources indicate is required to keep current, much less to get ahead.”

The real world consequence of the squeeze can be seen, for example, in what Air Force Secretary Mike Wynne has said–he’s getting 60 airplanes per year, and has about 6,000 aircraft all told, which means his recapitalization rate is 100 years, Gertler said. It will take longer, because in the FY ’09 budget Wynne is not getting 60 airplanes. He’s getting a lot of unmanned aerial vehicles, but is not able to maintain the 100 year number in terms of getting a new Air Force.

As well, officials said Congressional Budget Office analysis says for steady procurement funding $ 120 billion to $ 150 billion per year in constant dollars is required to modernize the current force.

By 2013, the operations and support elements of the budget will have more than doubled in the previous 25 years. That means tens of billions of dollars are migrating from the investment portfolio to operations and support costs, making it even harder for defense planners to manage for the future.

This summer, AIA will issue a follow-on report looking at specific capabilities such as tactical aircraft, space systems and logistics, Blakey said.

AIA has been in touch with all the campaigns and plans to do more specific outreach in the future.

Best answer:

Answer by RunAmuk4Fun
Why?

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Question by ❶•☆•xXx•☆— BOMB ♥ SHELL☆•xXx•☆•❶: What Do u think here New program launched to line up illegal alien workers with household employers?
An employment program launched this week by three nonprofits will attempt to line up temporary employers with temporary workers, including day laborers who might be undocumented.

Marinhelpers.com is one person sitting at a desk, connecting workers with laborers by phone and e-mail. But behind the scenes it has been three years in the making.

“The concept is original,” said Paul Cohen, executive director of Legal Aid of Marin, who noted, however, that the program was inspired by a similar project developed by the nonprofit Multicultural Institute in Berkeley.

Cohen said he has worked since May 2006 to devise a program that would match household employers with workers, after three failed efforts to create a hiring hall in San Rafael. Marinhelpers.com was started as a virtual hiring hall, and he said the key will be getting word out to both the workers and the hirers.

“We want to convince household employers that this is legal, it’s easy and it works,” Cohen said. “It’s a win-win for them and the people who need work, especially during these challenging economic times.”

The project manager and sole employee is Simon Tiles, a native of Venezuela and nine-year Bay Area resident who has experience doing outreach with local schools and families. He is based at the Ritter Center which, along with Legal Aid of Marin and the Canal Alliance, is supporting Marinhelpers.com.

Primary funding is from the Marin Community Foundation, the San Francisco Foundation and

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the Zellerbach Family Fund, Cohen said. He said the program’s first-year budget is about $ 100,000, which includes development costs such as a feasibility study, Web site, legal research and more.
Thomas Peters, CEO of the Marin Community Foundation, said he and others are pleased to support “the humane and beneficial linkage between homeowners who want some help and the workers seeking work.” He noted strong support, too, from city and county officials.

Tiles said prospective workers fill out a form, agree to the rules and regulations of the program and get entered in a database. When Tiles receives a call from a homeowner who needs help with a job, workers with skills for that job get first dibs. It’s up to the homeowner and worker to come up with financial terms.

About 100 workers have signed up – from day laborers to college students to those who have been laid off after long stints of employment. It is expected to become a popular option for retired people looking for supplemental income, people with disabilities and people from assistance programs such as Homeward Bound.

No questions are asked in the sign-up process about immigration status, Tiles said.

“Because of the nature of temporary employment, homeowners are not required to ask for legal documentation for workers they hire, so we do not ask the question,” he said.

Cohen said Legal Aid of Marin spent many months researching the legalities of Marinhelpers.com. According to the Internal Revenue Service, a worker can be hired for $ 1,700 per year tax free without the employer asking for documentation. State law dictates that a person can be hired for $ 3,000 per year but with a maximum of $ 750 per quarter.

“We are completely within the parameters of the law,” Cohen said. “Nothing about this changes the fact that there are some people who are undocumented in Marin. There might be a byproduct of this program that some people get off the street because they’re working (through Marinhelpers.com), but that’s not the sole focus.”

In Marin, day laborers congregate primarily in San Rafael along Andersen Drive and Bellam Boulevard, and in Novato near Redwood Boulevard and Olive Street. Marinhelpers.com is a way to match workers’ skills and the needs of the temporary employer with the use of technology.

Rick Oltman is not in favor of Marinhelpers.com doing anything to encourage undocumented workers to stay in Marin. He is the national media director for Californians for Population Stabilization and a member of the Novato-based Citizens for Legal Employment and Contracting.

“This isn’t going to take anybody off the street,” Oltman said. “I’m sure everybody involved in this feels real good about it, but it’s another in a long series of efforts to continue to assist those in this country illegally to stay here. If this was designed specifically for the American worker – citizens and legal immigrants – then that would be a different story.”

Oltman and the CLEC group are advocates of E-Verify, a free online service that allows employers to check whether a worker is documented. It is used by the U.S. government and about 60 companies in Marin.

“Until this government requires the use of E-Verify, making it permanent and mandatory, it is not serious about enforcing our immigration laws,

Best answer:

Answer by theosaletheia
It sucks. The last thing America needs is an incentive for low-skilled immigrants to work here.

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Question by : Expired H2B visa and I-94 holder married to USC help?
My visa and I-94 expired a few months ago, my husband married me before it expired and we hoped to have had the opportunity to apply for my adjustment of status by now but it’s been financially difficult. I’ll be getting finances in a few months which I’m hoping to use on a good lawyer, here’s my concern. I have asked the question “will I be allowed to leave on a AP document and return while my applications are in process?” and a lot of people have said wait for your green card, which I’m prepared to do even though I haven’t seen my family in a while. But I’d like to know how long would it take to get the green card? and would I have a good shot at being able to stay here with my hubby as a permanent resident? It does shock me that I was denied a “fee waiver request” as my husband apparently “makes too much money” when we live our lives day to day on his salary alone as I know I am not allowed to legally work and with that I haven’t done so. If anyone could help I would greatly appreciate it! Also if I did leave to go to another country other than my home country would it be a problem with customs upon leaving and trying to return?

Best answer:

Answer by sadingle
For one thing, you shouldn’t need a lawyer for the process. It’s very straight forward, and you’d be paying someone to basically fill out forms with information that you’d be providing them. Advanced Parole is a document specifically for people in your situation, so that you may leave during the process. It typically takes about 3 months to get your AP and your employment authorization documents, which can be used while you are waiting for your greencard application to be approved. If your relationship is sincere, you should have absolutely no issues adjusting status in your situation. Just be sure to have adequate proof of comingling of assets, and have him put you on all the household bills. Good luck.

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by Great Education Colorado

Question by Zurie: Okay new girl friend again. Child support! ?
So I read some answers sent to me about my previous question….

“Today we went to court and my sons father was ordered to pay 815.00 child support. He had been giving her extra money when he could. She has been a “B” from day one. She schedules everything so that the kids are so busy we really can’t spend time with them. She does everything she can to destroy our relationship. I get so pisted-off when I find out he has done something extra for the kids and she was already getting 600.00 a month. She makes 60,000.00 a year and just bought a new house 150,000.00. Now he has to pay her 815.00 per month plus insurance 200 per month. We are two months behind on our house note. We are in a damn recession. How in the hell are we suppose to pay more when we are barely paying the cuurrent amount?? She has total control and he is doing stuff behind my back to try and keep her happy. but she still runs to court everytime she gets. How do I deal with this I am about ready to leave. i hate to be the one who walked out on him but this is really overwhelming. Any positive and truthful feed back???”

Some replied run now.
Some said that’s how it is suck it up?
Some asked why did I have a baby with him being low on finances?

Well, the truth of the matter is when I first came around she never called or gave problems. Once I was in the picture all hell broke loose. She keep the kids for x-mas and wouldn’t let us see them. Plus we were not broke at that time. He works in construction and things were going well. Now the market has crashed and we are stuck. Again I hate run out on him but I have a 1yr old now (first child) and I am not sure where things are headed but sometimes I think love is not enough. After two years of this I am exhasted with the whole thing. It’s like she fakes in front of me to appear so innocent but i have heard her say ” i do it because i can”. Are all ex wives in man hate club or something. I mean after 6 years she has no boyfriend yet???

Best answer:

Answer by boodee
Pray for her and your husband. Talk to your husband and tell him that he is your husband and you need him too. Tell your husband that he has rights. He can get them every other weekend and alternate holidays. That is the law. When it is his turn to get them it does not matter what she planned he can get them. I suggest you pray because the devil trying to make you give up on your marriage. When your husband get the kids always say kind things to them and about there mother. Saying bad things about their mother will only push them away. Children are smart they will see who truly loves them.

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Keeping your pets healthy and safe is much easier with just a little planning ahead! Just like keeping your financial health strong…planning ahead can be a huge benefit! Whever you have mortgage or financial questions of any sort, please call or email so I can help you be prepared and ready to meet your goals! Planning ahead can usually put you in better financial shape than you had planned. Contact Jen Mathis @ Family Pet Veterinary Clinic – 1215 Prospect Ave – WDM, IA 50265. Phone: 515-224-9747 or Email: drjenm@gmail.com Thank you for sharing 2011 with me and I look forward to being your resource in 2012! Charles Chedester 515-221-0321 x104 charles@chedester.com www.chedester.com NMLS#8636, Company NMLS#4622, Equal Housing Opportunity
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